Meet your cheeky goat
Salutations and welcomings are in order.
Neil works at the DMV and spends his spare time straightening pencils and adding to his paper clip chain. If he's feeling extra cheeky he'll swap out his name tag for "The Highway Defender" to see if his customers notice. When they do he winks, leans in, and says his catch phrase, "Crime, it's time to suspend your license."